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I ran across this video that I thought was so cute that I wanted to share.

I think I am the worlds worst about the snooze button in the mornings. I love to get that last 9 minutes of sleep each morning. My snooze button will sound every 9 minutes and I might hit it 3 times in the mornings. That is why my alarm clock is set atleast 15 minutes fast.:) I was thinking about the snooze button and what it signifies. I am sleeping through life, waisting precious minutes that I could be doing something else. Am I benifiting my marriage by hitting the snooze? I want to think so because I talk my husband into laying there too but we are sound asleep, not spending time with each other.

Is this a reflection of our marriage?  I hope not.  I don’t want to be snoozing through my life with my mate.  I don’t want to miss out on celebrations, life, joys, family, and even fights with him.  Each passing day with your mate is a blessing.  I see so many unhappy people walking around because of either divorce or loss of a mate.  We need to be celebrating each passing day with our mates. It is a blessing to have someone to walk through this life with.

Each day doesn’t have to be a production or an event.  But each day needs to be showered with love and time with your spouse.  Even if your spouse is away, you can spend time in thought, phone, email, IM, or Facebook with them.  I have found this neat calendar for romance that I am going to keep as a resource. I wanted to share the link with you.  Lovingyou.com I really have not checked this site out fully but this calendar I really love.  Please use the remaining site information at your digression.

To follow up from yesterday’s post, this song is a great reminder of why we love our mate. 

Enjoy

Why did I get married? Why did I choose to marry my spouse?  Do you ever sit and just try to remember? The month of June has been filled with weddings, Father’s day and our 21st anniversary.  It has been a busy month but focused all on family.  It has been nice. 

On our anniversary, I told my husband I love him more today than when we first got married.  That is so true.  I loved him then but I didn’t know how to love as deep as I love him now.  Agape Love.  Unconditional love is where I am in love with him now.  After 21 years I have seen about every stage that a marriage could go through.  I have experienced the lows and the highs and love the constants.

But you know sometimes it is good to reflect on why you got married.  Why did you choose to marry your mate.  Usually in that young love stage it is because how they make you feel and how you can make them feel.  It is all a feeling, a feeling that no one else on this earth can make you feel.

I started writing in my journal some memories of why I fell head over hills with that red curly headed handsome guy several years ago. One thing that made me laugh was when I remembered I love the smell of him when he came off the baseball field and gave me a hug.  Now, I would probably say hit the shower and then hug me, but back then, I could not wait to smell the sweat from the game engulf me because I knew his arms would be around me.   I remember loving sitting next to him for hours and hours as he played a football game with his friends and just waiting on that peck on the lips or the opportunity to serve him a drink or snack.  Now, I probably would find something else to occupy my time while he plays his games.  The thrill of getting that handwritten love note from him that was filled with him telling me how much he enjoyed being with me and loved me.  Now we do a quick text just to update where we are and what we are doing. 

I took time this past week and remembered all those sweet little things we did for each other as we were young in love.  It is crazy but I still smell that smell of the baseball diamond, I can still visualize the smile on his face as I sat next to him playing his game and I can physically touch the letters he wrote me that I have tucked away in a special place.  Those memories along with many other was the start of who we are today. 

Those memories are what sustained us through our valleys and kept us going when eveything else pointed to the end.  The memories helped us continue down the path and deepen our love for each other to where I can say I Agape love my husband.  Young love memories turn into committed love.

You can’t just live off of young love memories alone.  Building a lifetime of memories of your love is very important.  It is important to the health of your marriage and also to the heritage you leave behind for your children to follow.

Get back to the basics of why you got married. Remember what made you love him or her back then. Remember that love you had and measure your love that you have today.  Strive to grow that love deeper & strive to continue to make love grow stonger.

Is it possible to affair-proof your marriage? You see all the time books and magazine articles that have 10 ways to affair-proof your marriage or a 300 page book that is about affair-proofing your marriage. But is it really possible to have a sealed tight affair-proof marriage? I would love to say yes, but there is no way that you can say you can have a marriage that is affair-proof. How depressings, how deflating, how encouraging to couples, I know. But there is a way to 50% affair-proof your marriage. Keep reading and you will see.

You are a partner in the marriage you make choices daily about things that effect your marriage. You might cook a wonderful meal that you think is one of the best that you have ever cooked and you mate walk in and not agree, you might choose a color for the living room walls and your mate not agree, you might even choose a new haircut and your mate not like it. You and your actions are 1/2 of the marriage. You can’t control, direct or dictate the thoughts and actions of your mate but you can control yourself.

You can choose not to;

• Be alone with another person of the opposite sex.
• Befriend and confide in the opposite sex to the point of call them one of your closest friends.
• Dwell on what you don’t have in a mate vs what you do have in mate.
• Thinking the grass is greener on the otherside.  

You have complete control over that.  You choose to do actions that would set you up to have an affair on your mate, only you choose to do this.   You can take 1/2 of your marriage and affair-proof it by making a choice to Love, Honor and Respect your mate. 

You know, it is a daily choice.  It is not something that you stand in front of the minister on your wedding day and committ to and then never revisit the committment.   This world does not honor marriages today like they should. It is not the normal for marriages to work, it very rare to see a marriage last.  You have to choose daily to guard you eyes, your heart and your emotions. 

So what about the other 50% of the marriage?  First , you have no control over him or her.  You can not control their thoughts and actions.  If you try, that will cause the mate to pull away faster.  So what can you do to help encourage your mate?

• Encourage them to have friends of the same sex to hang out with and talk with.
• Encourage them by telling them why you love them so much.
• Encourage them by telling them the reason why you married them.
• Enjoy your time alone with your mate.  Make times that are playful and light hearted.
• Make your home enjoyable to come home to.  Don’t be  the nagging spouse that one always dreads to come home to.
• Confide in your mate, share with them your thoughts and intermost feelings, make them your best friend.
• Find a need that your spouse has and try to meet that need.
• Connect daily with your spouse.  Carve out time each day to talk. 
• Pray for you spouse daily.

Are these revelations? No, and it is not even a 10 ten list. But it is a start.  Putting your mate first and meeting needs without being overbearing and controling is a great combination to start affair-proofing your marriage. Praying for your mate and your marriage daily is the start of getting it 100% affair proofed. 

With Trust, Encouragement, and God’s protection, your marriage will be healthy.

How many times do we just sit back and think about the gift of love?  The gift of love that our mate gives us.  It is a daily choice that they show us love that day and they do it day in and day out regardless of the situation or stress of the day.  Have you took time this week to say Thank You ?

This is one of my favorite songs.  Bon Jovi, yes Bon Jovi is one of my favorite singers.  It stems from my crazy teen years but I love Bon Jovi and his lyrics to this song.  Listen to it and read the words then take some time today to tell your mate Thank You for loving you.

In almost every wedding that you go to you hear this phrase, “Till death do you part”.  It is common, but do we really hear it?  Parting these days have become so easy, so thoughtless and most of the time the normal.  But that is not what we vowed to with witnesses hearing us say it.  That is not what we vowed as God sealed our marriage.   Living together until one leaves this earth is a vow that is designed by the Father. 

In Mark 10: 6-9  the bible says “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.⁷‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, ⁸and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. ⁹Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”   The last words are let man not separate is a warning I think.  We have to protect our marriages from others.  God doesn’t separate the marriages, man separates them. (man in the generic sense)  God’s design for marriage is for one man to be united with one woman to the end of ones life.

We learn so much from the creation.  I watch every year for our doves to come back from the winter trip south.  We have two beautiful doves that have been in our back yard for 3 years. They roost in the eaves of our home.  So far this year they have not returned but it is still early.  If you know about doves, you will know that they mate for life.  They find their help mate and they are together until death do them part. Doves are very loyal to each other.  This is not an accident.  God created them this way.  I think as a reminder to us on how marriage should be. 

I guess as we enter into the season of weddings, I have thought about this vow more and how easily it is not really paid attention to.  But it is probably one line in our vows that have the biggest promise.  The rest of them, “in sickness and in health, for better for worst,” will all fall in place if you are commit till death do you part.  This is a mindset, a commitment, a obtainable goal that we need to be striving for in our marriages daily and encouraging young couples to take seriously as they take vows to one another.  When you spouse is secure in knowing you will be there till death, what an engulfing feeling of trust and security that brings.

We celebrate Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Easter and the big one New Years, but do we ever just celebrate?  I know we don’t very often, matter of fact, I know we have not in a long long time.  Having life, love, family & marriage is a reason to celebrate often.  I am as guilty as the next when it comes to gettin ginto a rut and taking things for granted.  Little celbrations are  memories made. 

Celebrate with your family.  You children need to see the fun side of you.  Celebrate with them.  There are so many goofy holidays now.  National Chocolate day, National pancake day, the days are endless.  Here is a resource that might help you start doing a celebration in your home monthly. (or atleast ever so often)   Click here.   I wish I had done this more often when my children were little.  What a great way to laugh and have fun as a family.

Celebrate with your spouse.   This is a celebration that should be on going.  If you have a marriage that is together, working well, you love each other, you are blessed.  There is a HUGE reason to celebrate.  There are so many ways to celebrate with your spouse and they don’t even really need to cost much money to do so.  A note of gratfulness, a special meal prepared, a kind word before leaving the house, or a special night out.  I have fallen so short in this area especially this 2010 year.  Our family schedule has been out of sync and celebrating our marriage has been far and few between.  This is something I have missed and I think our marriage has too.  It is time to kick back into gear and celebrate the life God has given us with eachother.  Here are some ideas that I think are fun.

• Unexpected notes of love.    Place notes through out the your spouse goes or in items that they take to work.  Another great way to leave notes is in the shower.  Crayola has some washable bath markers that adults can play with too!  Get a pack and leave your spouse love notes in the shower.  Leave the marker in the shower and see what the reply will be. 
• Date night in the home.  Have a dinner and movie night.  Red Box is so available now everywhere so a movie is so cheap.  Pull out all the pillows, blankets and have dinner and movie in the living room floor. Pick up some chinese, or make your favorite meal. Pick a movie that is light hearted and fun for both of you.  Click Here for a template for a movie ticket to give to your spouse.  
• Create a personalize crossword puzzle for your mate to do on their lunch break.  What a great way to keep their thoughts on you and their marriage.  Remind them of your love,how you met & favorite memories.   If you are like me, you will need a little help creating this one so here is a couple of sites that help you out.  Click here  &  here.    This is another great way to drop hints on a special date.
• Have a scavenger hunt.  Place items through the house, or multiple place that leads to a reward.  The reward being an event, date, or just you.  Use cute note cards to direct them from point A to point B and beyond.   Have fun with this one. 

The main thing that we need to celebrate is that the Lord has blessed you with a mate and family and don’t take it for granted.  Enjoy your family and celebrate your time together.

This is a post that I did last year in June.  It is one that I wanted to share again.  I was just reminded again to day on how loving and special my husband is to me.  And you will never guess what triggered it, I was on the phone with him and he was going through Chick-fil-a  to grab lunch for me & him.  He didn’t even ask what I wanted , he ordered for me and it was perfect, down to the one packet of mayo for my sandwich! Isn’t that crazy that I find joy in that?  but I do……..

I’m sorry might be the two hardest words in our human language. I know it is hard for me to swallow and say sometimes. But as hard as it is to say, it is probably some of the most powerful words that you can say also. Think back at some of your relationships. Can you think of some relationships that might would have ended better or maybe would not have struggled as much if the two words, I’m Sorry was spoken or spoken sooner than later?  I can.  I can think of several times that this would have been the case. 

Just thinking about how many times I should have said I am sorry to my children and how it would have made a world of difference in their lives and their outlook on the problem but I chose not too.  At the time, I thought it was not neccessary but looking back how simple and what a huge impact it would have been. 

Peter Cetera & Chicago understood with their song  Hard To Say I’m Sorry and how relationships need to hear I’m Sorry when we are wrong.  Our spouses need to hear that we are sorry for the ways that we treat them or don’t do for them.  They need to verbally hear that we acknowledge that we were not acting in the best interest of the relationship.  Maybe you don’t feel like you are the one completely in fault but to your spouse you have atleast done something to offend them and that is what you need to focus on.  My husband always says there is always three sides to the story, yours, mine and the right side.  So true.  

I ran across this great list on ways to say you are sorry that I wanted to share with you.  Maybe  haveing this little tool to help you say you are sorry will help.
Here are a few that I love.

I’ve gotten a chance to “cool off” and I realize that I overreacted.  I’m sorry.
(give a quart of their favorite ice cream)

I’ll go “nuts” if you don’t forgive me.  I’m really sorry.
(give a bag of their favorite nuts)

Sometimes I can be a real “airhead”… I’m sorry I forgot about ________
(give an airhead candy)

Click here to see more ideas that I think you will love from Love Actually